The Four Agreements

The Four Agreements, written by Don Miguel Ruiz, is without a doubt one of the most eye opening, and insightful books that I have ever read! Ruiz gives and analyzes four 'agreements' that will help you to transform your life, if you are willing to follow them. He emphasizes a lot on the fact that these agreements will not go into action over night. You will break them, possibly get frustrated, and have to do your best (which is one of the agreements) to keep trying to follow them. The first agreement; "Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love." As easy as it sounds, your word is very powerful, and how you use it can affect people for better or worse. Your word isn't just a sound, but it allows you to communicate and express your thoughts and feelings, that will create events in your life. Ruiz says, "Like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you." One misuse of your word and you can loose everything. The flipside is that you could earn something, or make someone's day. It's all about being aware of what you say, when you use it, and how you say it. Once we have made our opinion known to others, they can choose to agree or disagree. For example, if I were out with friends and saw a piece of art that I thought was hideous and said, "Gee, who would even want to look at that?" Before my friends could have their own opinion about that drawing, I've just altered how they may see it because of what I said. Words enter our minds and can change beliefs for better or worse. Be impeccable with your word. The second agreement; "Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." First and foremost so many people act the way they do to be accepted by others. STOP. If you want to dress a certain way, or be yourself, DO IT. No one should be changing you, and it's so cliché, but it happens far too often to go unsaid. I started a YouTube channel in freshmen year of high school. I'd put up a video, someone at school would make fun of me, than I'd end up taking it down. I was taking them down because other people, said mean things, I took it personally, and that stopped me from doing YouTube for awhile. I've come to realize that if I want to post something, I will, and I will not let someone's words alter how I go about running my channel. We all live in our own separate dream, in our own mind. When we take something personally we assume that person knows what goes on in our world. If someone blurts out, "You're fat." don't take it personally because that person is dealing with their own feelings. That person tried to 'poison' you with cruel words, but you can't allow that into your system because it will hurt you. Again, there is a flipside to this, if someone says that you are wonderful, they are not saying that because of you. You already know you're wonderful (or I hope you do!) so just keep in mind people react to situations differently and will say things because of what they are experiencing. Ruiz also brings up that our minds have a tendency to talk to themselves. Whatever you hear in your mind you can't take personally either, we tend to be our worst enemy, but can also create a false reality for ourselves. Once you can learn to not take what others say and do personally, you can't be held back from what you want. The third agreement; "Don't make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life." As humans we have gotten in such a bad habit of making assumptions. From the minute we wake up every morning we are probably unconsciously making assumptions. If we sleep in, we automatically assume that the day is going to suck. If we see someone with a disability we start thinking to ourselves all these different and false things. If you are curious ask questions so you can get the truth. As for the personal side of this, when we make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and create a whole drama for no reason. We also assume that everyone sees life the same way that we do, so when something doesn't go our way, people should understand. Remember that we are all living in our own dream and we don't all have the same views and opinions. We will often assume we can accomplish something, and then discover that we aren't able to do so. We have to stop lying to ourselves, and keep things in a realistic range. The day that you (and I) can stop making assumptions will allow us to be able to communicate clearly and cleanly. The fourth, and final agreement; "Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment, it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. This final agreement is the one that helps the other three to become habits. Under any circumstance always do YOUR best. We tend to compare our best to other people around us and their best. The only person that you have control of is yourself, therefor, you better be doing your best. As it has already been said, your best is going to change from day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute, etc. A lot of people work because they have to support themselves. They do the needed work to get by, which is not always their best. They begin to not enjoy what they are doing. Flipside, if someone is working and not expecting a reward, it is more likely that they will enjoy what they are doing. Doing your best begins to not feel like work because you are enjoying yourself. When you do you best for the pleasure you are fully living life. Thanks for reading, hopefully you learned something, and will consider using these agreements. Remember, if you mess up try again tomorrow. At first it will seem difficult, but day by day it will become easier. Be the change that you wish to see.