Hineni, Here I am.

Thursday September 21, Rosh Hashanah. The head of the New Year. A day that I got so much more out of than I thought possible. I began my day around 7 am. Getting last minute class assignments done before I headed off to Overland Park for the day. Two weeks ago I called up Congregation B'nai Jehudah and asked how high holiday services would work for a college student, out of town. Some of you are probably thinking, just show up? For Jewish communities worldwide right now precautions have to be taken to protect time of prayer, therefor tickets have to be had to attend. The lady just took my name down and I picked up the ticket that morning. I'd be lying if I said the day were easy. Walking into a new synagogue on one of the high holidays was rather intimidating. I literally knew NO ONE. This is when some gratitude thoughts came to mind. Thank goodness I don't totally shut down in big crowds. I mean this in the best way because I love people and new environments but I was getting nervous. For those who do not know, the high holidays are a time when all the Jewish people come together. So even if the whole year congregants don't attend weekly services, you are sure to find them on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur. So I walked in and found the table where I could pick my ticket up, then I began walking the opposite way of services. Literally two seconds ago I read a sign with the arrow pointing towards the chapel and then totally disregarded it. My nerves were getting to me big time. After I followed the crowd to the main room, finding a seat was next on the agenda. There were so many and I didn't know where to go. I thought, "Should I sit towards the front, no because this isn't my temple. Do I sit right next to someone or leave a seat? Well considering all of these will be filled there's no point in leaving any open." Eventually I picked a row in the middle of the room. I just sat, I arrived 15 minutes early, and watched others shuffle in. The lady to my left seemed a little hostile. She set her purse and shawl on the seats between us and no one ever came in sat in them. Like hello, if you tried talking to me you would find out I'm not just a crazy college student, but it's fine. The couple to my right seemed cool. We didn't really say anything at first and the rabbi opened with talking to the people around us that we didn't come here with, and telling them what your were thankful for. I freaked out and was thinking we've been siting here for 20 minutes without saying a word to one another so this'll be interesting. The husband told me he was thankful for finding this congregation because he and his wife were from New York, but they have grandchildren in Kansas. I said I was thankful for my friends at college who have become family. He asked more about my college and then the service began. At first I didn't like it because I was just so used to how our rabbis start. Also this congregation had two male rabbis, no female and that struck me as unusual. As the service went on it was alright. The music was great and the prayers were similar, if not the same at time. One of the rabbis got to the torah reading and intertwined some of his sermon into that. They also had aliyahs dedicated to four different groups in the congregation. The first to the board members past and present, second to new members, third to members of more than a few years, and the final one is what made my day. The fourth aliyah was made to 107 and a half year-old Gertrude. She had been a member of their congregation for 80 years, and never had an aliyah dedicated to her. The rabbi came down from the bimah and had Gertrude stand up and we all just took in the presence of her young soul. That was special for everyone I think. Through it all, 80 years later and Judaism was still such an important part of who she was that at, 107 and a half, she was still coming to services. The main focus, and message from the sermon was, Hineni, "here I am." It is about being there for yourself and your neighbors. Not just when it is convenient for you, but as they need it too. Some examples that this congregation wants to practice are making weekly phone calls to any congregants that may feel lonely, doing food drives, giving a ride to a grocery store, services, etc. to people who cannot drive. I thought this was an important reminder. We hear this every year but how do we practice being present and aware in our lives? I took some time to reflect and am still doing so. Shortly after this sermon, the husband leaned over to me and told me that he and his wife were going to a luncheon after services and they'd love for me to join them if I had nothing going on. This offer really made me feel like a part of something. The majority of the service I felt a little bit off but it was still nice to have the chance to be there. I agreed to join them and we met at their friend's house afterwards. Being in a house that felt like home, with other Jewish people, (and a dog) felt really nice. I love being at the dorms but the feeling of comfort and home is rarely ever there. I have a room to myself and it's just white concrete walls with squeaky beds. This family had a home that they welcomed me in to like we'd known each other for more than a few hours. It meant the world and is something that will stick with me forever, I hope one day I can do the same for others. So what can you take away from reading this, if you are Jewish, or not. Because at the end of the day it's not about religion, but the lessons, practices and love we share. In life when people reach out or you feel like something is off, be present. Ask them if there is anything you can do to help. Sometimes you may have to ask multiple times. It is important to "be here" when you can. When you feel like you are being called or drawn to a certain situation, go forth and do good, give 110%. As always, thank you for taking time to read this and I hope you can be a little more present in your own life!