It's November?
How is it already November? Myself, along with others that I have talked to, have gotten to that point in the semester where the stress is high and motivation low. If you feel differently, please come into my life and help a girl out! The past few weeks have been emotionally rough, I try to please everyone, take on every project that comes my way, and balance the rest of my life out. I am slowly feeling the impact of this. I have had this feeling in the past, it's not new but it is frustrating. I feel numb and like I have lost my authentic self. I am on autopilot and go through my days because I have to. I go to classes, do the work, but it's mediocre. I know this and am aware but don't know how to put my whole heart into it. I am making it a goal of mine to be more conscious and intentional in what I do. November seems to scream "thankful" in my mind. I will try and intentionally write down one thing a day that I'm thankful for and get thank you notes to those who have helped me succeed this semester. I have done something like that in the past and it helped me feel better. After all, gratitude can affect your attitude (for the better)! I will say right now I am having doubts about college left and right. People are always preaching that college is necessary to a successful life, but in a way, I feel differently. I have always had this feeling deep down that I am more then a grade or a class. I feel like I posses characteristics that can't be taught and I have a fire in my heart no one can put out. Granted there are skills in college that I have learned and continue to work on that, without UCM, I would not know. For example, writing. It makes sense that there would be a lot of writing in broadcasting but I didn't see that side of it much in my high school classes. College is quite the opposite, I have learned about AP Style and how to cover breaking news, beat stories, profile stories, and more. (Shoutout to my teachers for being patient and persistent in making sure that I know what I'm doing) It is comforting to know that a college degree isn't everything for my future. "A college degree does not equate to someone's level of intelligence or talent. For those seeking the best workers or leaders, there is a plethora of intelligent, inventive people without degrees who should not be overlooked" (Schmitz, Paul-CNN article). I tend to work well with others and connect with most people. I know I will change the world in some way, but I don't know if college is going to be able to help me in that aspect anymore. I have met great people here, gotten endless opportunities and will forever be grateful. However I don't know that I should be wasting any more time in a classroom and money on some classes that aren't helping me excel in my future goals. To a lot of people I'm sure this sounds absurd, like a typical issue that all college students go through. If you look at a lot of people in the entertainment/broadasting industry not all of them had a college degree. I am telling you, there are skills only certain people have that are just innate. Some of the best can't take tests and be graded on classroom criteria. The way they think and interact is so unique that no textbook or lecture could resonate with them. I want to be clear that I have made no decision to drop out, or take a gap year, but it has been on my mind a lot. I am scared to do it only because what if it doesn't work? What if I get totally lost? Although the cool thing about life, when you're living it right, there are many people and opportunities you can allow yourself to say "yes" to. If you are in a similar position to me, why not take that chance? The worst that happens is you try again. If you ask me that's more admirable then never knowing. Keep your thoughts positive and always be looking for more chances. "Our nation should be a ladder of opportunity for the best talent, regardless of background" (Schmitz, Paul-CNN article).
