If Not Now, When?

“If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?"

Said by rabbi Hillel and a quote I grew up with in temple. I occasionally think about it, but now is a time when the last part hit me.

I have been putting off writing this post all week because I have been in another one of my moods. I get this way every so often where I just can't achieve the level of happiness that I want. I try to pinpoint where my attitude could have changed so I can help myself but can't seem to figure that out.

Late last night I asked myself "If not now, when?" If I'm not happy now I can wait for happiness to find me, but who knows how long that will take? I woke up this morning (Sunday) got semi ready for the gym and went with an open mind about what I wanted to achieve.

For me going to the gym is one of the places that makes me the most happy because I have the most control over my workout and I get to see the results. (It's also super uplifting ((no pun intended) to see everyone else bettering themselves as well.)

On my walk over I took in the brisk air, noticed some frost still on the trees, and an icicle on a bench outside of the gym. It's the little things that help to center me. Pull my life back into perspective. I am not sure what I was "looking for" to make me happy but that three minute walk helped a lot.

Then I got to the gym and began my workout. I had some stress to burn so I pushed myself and it felt so good to be hitting times, lifting weights and sweating. That is a little bit of what I'd say accomplishment feels like for me.

I left the gym feeling great and was able to set myself up for greatness for the rest of the day. Sometimes it takes realizing that there is so much beauty in the now, we just have to be willing to see it fully. Since I chose now, I am not wondering when.