The classic, "New Year, New Post"... sort of

With 2019 wrapping up I have so many experiences and people to be thankful for. While doing some deep reflecting, and while I say it every year, this has to have been the biggest year for me. I don't know if it'd be fair to say biggest emotional one, but as far as life transitions, it's definitely been so.

My New Years post for last year came late, a month and a week, into the new year. Partially because I wasn't feeling the "Wohoo New Year!" energy that everyone else was and I think at this time last year, I had doubts about my abilities, my life, and who I was.

So, I made a promise to myself. To JUST SHOW UP. For classes, for work, for friends. It was going to look different everyday, but if I got up and went, I knew I'd feel better. I'd be a better person.

Well, I showed up a lot in 2019. Midway through, to the point where, along with showing up, I had to tell myself to start being courageous. A quote my friend sent me, "Courageous participation attracts positive things." And don't we all want positive things?

I started the 2019 with the Kansas City Mavericks for our New Years game. There isn't a week that goes by that I don't think about the team, both hockey players and the people who make up the organization. I have so many wonderful memories from my time there.

January was fun. A new start to the final undergraduate semester. One that would be filled with so much light, love, and support that I never could have anticipated. We had our first issue of the Muleskinner come out on my birthday so that was a fun! An early morning running through campus, delivering papers in recently fallen snow.

In February, I'd say the highlight was showing up to work with the Mavericks and meeting the Stanley Cup there. Not saying I had anything to do with the later win by the Blues, but...

In March I found myself get noticed by the UCM soccer coach, four years too late, but non-the-less a validating moment. We also published another print issue of the school paper, highlighting the campus in Lee's Summit. I learned so much through writing my article for that. And also got a great stand up done! AND I got to share a professor super cool talent with the campus...@ MBM! I picked up my cap and gown, still confused as to what I would do once I left the safety net of Warrensburg.

In April I had a chance to share some of my life story on friends podcast. That was actually so therapeutic for me and helped settle my nerves of leaving the familiar space I had gotten to know the last four years. The Muleskinner also won BEST IN STATE and our adviser got Adviser of the Year. That's a celebration I will never forget. I also was fortunate to take home a couple of awards. To wrap up April I began my broadcast news journey as Fox4's newest production assistant, which I am so grateful for the people I got to spend time with and all the lessons learned (even with 4 a.m. wakeup calls on Saturday mornings).

May. The month I graduated. May 12th. Somehow, through all the tears, fears, and doubt I made it. That was a fun morning. Our little DMP squad gathered in the second floor hallway of the Multipurpose Building. Figuring out how we'd line up so we could all sit next to one another. Each of us anxious, but excited, laughing and sharing memories from the year. Sharing goals for the next journey.

I will say, one thing that I lucked out with was how tight-knit our department was. With it being project based and a team effort needed put on productions, you had to be with people, to meet them, to support them. We all did just that and would soon receive our diplomas together.

Then for post grad. It wasn't as glamorous as it seemed. But it was life which was full of learning and growth. Shortly after returning home to STL, my bags were packed back up again and I was Kansas City bound to take that PT Production Assistant job with Fox4. I was fortunate enough to be able to stay with a family that took the best care of me and ensured I had everything I could possibly need to survive my time in KC.

A few weeks into being there I was able to secure another PT time at Trader Joe's. And truly, this was probably one of the highest highs of 2019 for me. People laugh, but that place truly is the Disney World of grocery stores. I still keep in touch with people, even though I only had a short time there. I don't doubt I'll end up back to TJs one day and I look forward to it! I can't forget to mention the KC soccer scene. I had a ball (pun unintended but it works) with those guys. Two to three times a week I knew I'd get to play the game I grew up with and always felt good after doing so.

In late August I was given the chance to return back to St. Louis for a full-time job doing communications works for Eden. I wasn't sure how this was going to go, but I had to take the leap. It ended up being so much more than just a job. I got to learn so much about the people there, the UCC, and communications work. I was by no means perfect, but I did what I knew and as best I could. The journalism bug was still bitting me though.

About three months into this job I was given the chance to go to Texas for a multimedia journalist job. Immediately I thought, "THIS IS MY TIME." This is the part in my story years from now where I can say, this was the start.

I have been here just under two weeks now and it's going well. It has been rough, but I just have to chant to myself, "Be courageous. Show up." And it's working. I wake up in the morning so anxious about how the day will go because I haven't found my rhythm yet. But I just get out of bed, get ready, and get out the door. The rest sets itself up pretty well.

I am so so beyond grateful for what I have gotten to do in 2019 and more so, the people I have gotten to meet, work with, and maintain strong friendships and support-ships with. You all mean so much to me and hearing from y'all throughout the year, the months, the weeks always makes me smile.

Thank you to every single person who has wished me well in all my new and crazy endeavors. Again, no comment, phone call, text or letter goes unnoticed. (BIG BIG HUG) And to the people who have believed in me, given me chances to try, fall, and get back up again. Patience and grace, I've found are some of the best qualities you can offer a person.

May the rest of the year be as good as the other 11 and a half months, and may 2020 be filled with more adentures, connections, and big things.